Daddy Issues
by fluffykitty12
Summary: Everyone knew Ed had Daddy Issues. Hohenheim had disappeared when Ed was just five, leaving him to grow up far too soon. But no one knew just how deep those issues ran. It all comes to a head when, after seeing his father again, Ed lets loose. "Hell- even Colonel Bastard here's been a better father than you have over the years!". Roy gaped. NOT YAOI, Parental Roy guiding Ed.
1. Admission

**Alright. I've found a severe shortage of Roy being a parental figure to Ed and Roy and Ed interacting in general in the anime.**

 **the purpose of this fic is writing a more emotional, realistic way Edward would handle meeting Hohenheim after all these years of feeling his father abandoned him, and how he, and team Mustang, by extension- dealt with it.**

 **Please review- constructive criticism is always welcome, and I'd love to fix any errors you point out.**

 **Please tell me if I should continue! :)**

* * *

"See? She's already falling for him!" Sergeant Brosh pointed to the scene on the Rockbell's porch, where Maria Ross sat, clearly falling for the alluring blonde.

"A long time ago I saw an eagle with wings as black as obsidian. Your hair is the exact same color. I never thought I'd see it again. thank you for bringing such a beautiful memory back to me." the man's voice was smooth, like river water running over rocks.

Lieutenant Ross blushed. "...and thank you, what a wonderful thing to say..."

"See!? She's falling for it hook line and sinker!" Brosh declared tearfully, looking anguished, as he conversed with everyone- all the members of their rag-tag search party gone rogue were observing from behind the stone wall.

"That's sad but... don't we have bigger concerns right now?" Winfry asked, looking hesitant.

"Bigger than love?" Mustang spoke up, looking cynical.

"There's something about that guy..." Al spoke up quietly. "He seems familiar, doesn't he, brother?" he looked down to find Ed was nowhere to be found and looked up, alarmed. "Brother?"

Everyone looked around, alarmed, to find Ed charging across the lawn towards the couple, looking pissed as hell.

 _"What the hell are you doing flirting!?"_ he shouted shrilly, in the voice he only used when freaking out over being called short.

His metal fist made contact with the blonde's cheek, sending him flying over the railing and onto the ground.

Lieutenant Ross blinked, looking shocked. "Edward what the..."

But Ed payed her no mind, plowing onward.

"You're gone for over ten years and I come back to _that!?_ Damn you old man!" Ed was still shouting, looking pissed.

Al simply sat, reeling. "...Dad?"

He paused for a moment, memories flashing through his mind. "I remember him... from the pictures... Dad!"

Much to the chargin of everyone, Al began sprinting across the lawn as well, armor clanking with every step. "

"Dad! He's home- Dad's home!" Al was visibly happy as he charged over.

Hohenheim was beginning to righten himself from where he laid, knocked spread-eagle on the grass, by Ed, when Al spoke up.

"I...I know you might not be able to tell who I am, because of the way I look, but..."

He was interrupted by his father's smile. "Alfonse. You certainly got tall."

The suit of armor's expression visibly brightened at being recognized.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked, amazed.

But Hohenheim paid him no mind, instead turning to look at the pissed blond standing on the porch.

"Edward." he said cordially, smiling at his eldest.

Ed simply glared down at the man.

"So." Hohenheim began, following that single word with the worst possible question "Do you still hate drinkin' milk?"

In true Ed-like fashion, the small blonde exploded. "Who are you callin' a micro-sized half pint who won't grow because he hates drinkin' milk!?"

"That's not what he said, Edward." nearly everyone chorused, looking amused.

* * *

That evening, Hohenheim sat out on the porch with Winry's dog, drinking a glass of wine and eavesdropping on the conversation going on inside the Rockbell residence.

"Are you still mad, Edward?" Winry probed.

"Whoever said I was mad?" Ed asked indifferently, shoving a roll into his mouth.

"There's nothing to be mad about." Ross spoke up, fingering her roll nervously and blushing. "I was just having a polite conversation with that man, nothing else, is that clear?"

"You sure looked like you were enjoying it." Winry teased good-naturedly, and Ross gasped, eyes softening.

"Oh- it was just the cologne he was wearing. You never smell anything like that in the military. No soldier I know every wears cologne."

Brosh appeared to be all sorts of strung lout, leaning over his cup of coffee like a drunk at last call, expression dark and demeanor depressed. "Maybe the soldiers you know don;t wanna smell like flowery sissy boys." he mumbled.

"What's the matter with you anyway?" Ross asked pointedly, and Brosch began to cry into his coffee mug.

The atmosphere had suddenly gone into awkward silence.

As it usually happened, the silence was broken by Ed. "I hate his smell. I still remember it, from when I was a little kid. When Al was born, Dad left the house to do some kind of research. At least, that's what mom said. But we never got any letters, so eventually I caught on. I could still smell the scent all over the house when he was gone. It never completely went away. It's funny- when I saw Lira in Leore- I smelled it again."

"You saw Lira in Leore?" Al asked, surprised. "So she got out of Donte's place safely. That's great." he seemed cheered by the news.

"Hold on a minute- who is Lira and how do you two know her? You two cant keep talking around us." Winfry protested.

Hohenheim had started at the mention of the familiar name, and he frowned, reaching out to pet Winfry's dog and apologizing quietly for startling the animal.

"Ah, why do you have to know everything!?" Ed protested, and he and Winfry got into what was obviously a petty spat.

At some point in the evening, Colonel Mustang made his way onto the porch.

"The furher has been accused of treason." he stated calmly, getting straight to the point. "Your children have as well. But honestly, I'm more interested in discussing the pictures I've seen of you."

"When a homonculus is born, it doesn't have a human shape." Hohenheim supplied, causing Roy to start.

"It never would, if left alone." he continued, finding the red wine in his glass interesting. "The only way for them to obtain one is to be fed sufficient amounts of a vital energy source- shards of the stone."

"You mean they have to feed on human lives?" Roy asked.

"Mmmh." Hohenheim nodded the affirmative. "They may start out like innocent children, but in time their desires and powers corrupt them. You can't trust anyone who lives that long." he still spoke idly, avoiding Roy's eyes as he swirled around his wine idly. "No one. It's important you remember that fact."

Roy appeared to take notice of this, looking serious. "Right. I'll keep that in mind."

"You said stone fragments were created in labratory 5. Homonculi can;t perform alchemy, let how are they able to teach it, and what purpose would it serve them?"

Roy gasped. "There's something else. Someone whose controlling their actions." he spoke aloud, theorizing to himself.

"Ah well." Hohenheim yawned loudly, his demeanor quickly changing from a sort of distracted intensity to a tired apathy. "even if they are homonculi, this country's great. Military's still as honest and powerful as it's every been, right? I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

The clanking of armor sounded as Al made his way onto the porch. "Dad?"

Roy blinked, surprised. He's never get used to hearing his friend being called that. At least, not for a bit- and it would certainly take time getting used to the fact that Edward- his unruly, spitfire of a subordinate- was going to have to adapt to his father's return at some point.

Roy made a mental note to excuse some of Ed's behavior in the next few days on account of that.

Edward's punching his father had made it perfectly clear he had no excess amount of love for his old man.

Still, Roy was pulled by his musings as Al continued- "why is it that homonculi can't use alchemy?"

"It's because all of them come from beyond the gate." Hohenheim said seriously.

Al gasped, looking alarmed.

"But let's not talk of that. Tell me about Trisha- or about you boys. I wanna know what my sons have been up to while I was away."

Al sighed, and Hohenheim continued. "I...looking at your body, I guess that..."

He was interrupted as Ed strode rigidly out onto the porch. Hohenheim looked down as his eldest began to speak.

"There's not much to tell. We failed the transmutation and I lost my limbs. Al lost his body. That's all." Ed said calmly.

Hohenheim looked up. "But Edward- alchemy isn't something you can-"

" _Shut up!"_ Edward shouted, looking infuriated. "You can't just show up here and start acting like a father! Not when we had to watch Mom die without you." he seethed, gloved hands clenching into fists.

"Hell- even Colonel Bastard here's been a better father than you have over the years!" he admitted freely.

Ed failed to notice how Roy went rigid for a moment, eyes wide with surprise. He'd never expected such a free declaration from Ed, of all people...

But Ed was oblivious to his superior's shock, plowing onward.

"So don't just waltz in here and think you can claim to be my father. That title is earned. And you've failed- miserably." Ed turned to stalk back inside.

"Come on, Al..."

"Brother! Al sounded surprised as Ed moved to pull him inside, before he spoke up. "Brother- I'm staying with him." he said firmly.

"But Al..." Ed looked up at his brother from where he stood in the doorway, pain etched into his expression. For the first time since their mom had died, Al was going against him, refusing to back him up- abandoning him.

"Let's go, Dad." Al turned to leave the porch, not looking back at his brother once.

Ed was left standing on the porch, watching them go sadly. His hands clenched into fists, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

 _Al... I took care of you for years after Mom died. We were together through it all. And you abandon me the first chance you get when this deadbeat shows up. Didn't it mean anything to you?_

He didn't realize he'd been standing there for several minutes until he heard Roy clear his throat. he rapidly blinked, quickly scrubbing his face on his sleeve.

Roy placed a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Let's go inside, Ed. It's getting cold."

"Y-yeah." Ed agreed, sounding far more shaky than he usually did.

He managed to stumble inside the house and fell into a chair at the table, staring at the wall in front of him blankly.

Still, the melancholy of his own mind was disturbed by Roy placing a steaming mug of something in front of him, sitting down at the table across from the boy with his own mug. "Drink up." he encouraged, sipping his own mug.

Ed frowned, leaning forward and sniffing the concoction suspiciously...

Roy smiled slightly, amused. "It's tea, Ed. No milk. I promise."

Ed looked up at him, gauging his sincerity, before he nodded, taking a hesitant sip.

Roy watched the boy's eyes widen for a moment in surprise at the sweet taste of the drink, before bringing the mug to his lips again and drinking it with gusto...

That was a lot more like the Ed he knew.

They drank their tea in silence, with Ed drinking noisily and Roy watching him with amusement over the brim of his own mug.

Finally, Ed set his empty mug down with a thunk, resting his head on his arms and letting out a contented sigh. "What was that?" he asked, sounding much more relaxed, back to normal Ed.

"Chamomile tea." _with honey. Lots of it._ Roy said in answer, watching his subordinate with amusement.

"Oh." Ed said, blinking. " 'S good." he admitted quietly, before he was sitting up and yawning.

He blinked slowly, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. " 'm goin' to bed." he mumbled, standing up slowly and stretching.

Roy nodded, taking a sip of his tea. "Goodnight."

" 'night." Ed mumbled, staggering over to the couch and flopping down. Within minutes, the teen was asleep.

Leaving Roy to frown pensively and sip his own tea. He was still reeling, honestly. It was a shock to realize Ed regarded him as a better father than Hohenheim. He'd assumed Ed had seen him as a superior, an order-giver to be resented.

He remembered the first time he'd seen the boys. On that stormy night of October third, in this very house...

Ed, his right arm completely gone, left leg only a stump below the knee. Al- a suit of armor covered in dried crimson. His brother's blood.

He'd never seen anything so pathetic. Ed hadn't even been concious the first time they'd met, and Al had been very well traumatized.

Even then, his heart had went out the the kids. It's why he'd told Al to contact him if they ever wanted to join the military. He'd be able to keep an eye out for them, if they even passed.

They were probably the luckiest victims he'd ever met. Most who attempted human transmutation were killed, or driven insane by what they'd seen.

He knew those boys were something special.

But still, he'd never dreamed that Ed saw him as something special, as well. He figured he was just the officer that Ed sassed constantly and nearly drove mad with his antics sometimes, but looking back on it now, it was clear to Roy the teen saw him as a comrade- someone to be respected... For a kid who's father had been absent most of his life, Ed thought Roy was special enough to fill that role. It both surprised and scared Roy- how on earth could he live up to everything being a father meant?

Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was starting to get a headache.

Ed shifted from where he laid on the couch, muttering something unintelligible, before he slumbered on.

Roy must've still been watching him, because he didn't even hear Hawkeye when she entered the room.

"Something wrong, Sir?" she asked, blue eyes seeing right through him like they always did.

Roy sighed, looking over at her. "Did you hear what Ed said on the porch? Any of the conversation?"

The corner of Riza's mouth twitched. "Possibly."

The admission was enough to let him know that she;d heard the conversation in its entirety, as Riza Hawkeye didn't do things in halves.

"He said I was like a father to him." Roy said, glancing over at Ed's sleeping form anxiously.

Riza nodded, taking a seat beside Roy, normally sharp features softening. "He did." she conceded.

"I'm not even a good person, after Ishval. How can I be like a father to him? I'm going to let him down..." Roy admitted. "Ed's been let down too many times in his life. I don't want to disappoint him like this."

Riza frowned, gaze hardening. "With an attitude like that, you're doomed from the start." she said sharply, tone clipped. "You said yourself that Ed's been let down too many times- so don't let him down. Ed admitted he thinks of you like a father- so suck it up and be one!" Riza stood, stalking out of the room silently and leaving Roly to stare after her, alarmed.

Roy sighed. Great, now he had Hawkeye pissed at him, as well. You didn't just... become a father overnight.

"Al... come back..." Ed muttered in his sleep, squirming slightly.

Roy looked over at the teen, surprised for a moment, before his gaze hardened. Riza was right- Ed had been let down far too much. Roy wouldn't fail him, too. His jaw set, Roy strode across the room, determined. He grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and carefully tucked it around the slumbering teen, who didn't stir, before brushing the blonde hair away form the boy's face.

"Sleep well, Ed." he said, voice losing it's normal authoritative bite and features softening as he smiled slightly.

He turned and quietly left the room.

He was going to do his absolute best to be the father Ed deserved.

* * *

 **Thoughts? I tried to keep it realistic and down-to-earth, but still emotional. Ed's still jsut a teen, and he's going through a lot in this chapter.**

 **I know Ed and Mustang's relationship is normally limited to trading insults and wisecracks at one another, but I figured in this chapter- Ed would've had the fight knocked out of him.**

 **Meeting his estranged father and dealing with all the feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and resentment, as well as watching Al side with his father after it all probably left him at a loss on the porch, giving Mustang the opportunity to usher the kid inside and be there for him during his rough time, share a drink with the him and just mull over what exactly happened.**

 **Mustang also comes to terms with the fact that Ed views him as a father (with some help from Riza) and decides how to proceed.**

 **Please review and tell me your thoughts, what you like/dislike, or if you felt anything was unrealistic. Thanks and godbless! :)**


	2. Time to Breathe

**A little bit of action and a little bit of Ed/Roy parental bonding.**

 **Please review! :)**

* * *

Ed woke up to find sunlight making it's way through the large windows of the Rockbell residence.

He yawned, swinging his legs over the side of the couch. His automail leg made a loud - _thunk-_ as it hit the wood floor and he winced. He always forgot to be careful with it when he was groggy.

Still, he stretched, arching his back like a cat and yawning again before getting to his feet, brushing his blonde locks away from his face and stumbling into the kitchen.

"Morning, Ed." Roy nodded to the boy from where he sat with a cup of coffee.

"Mornin'." Ed muttered, eyes still half-lidded.

Roy blinked surprised by the lack of a snappy comeback. then again, it was still early- the kid wasn't exactly all there yet.

Hawkeye swooped over, setting a brown roll, hunk of cheese, and an apple in front of the boy. "Eat up." Hayate was being taken care of by team Mustang back at the dorms, but still, she couldn't break the habit of feeding _someone_ in the morning.

Ed's eyes widened form a moment before he was messily tearing into the bread, a hunk of fluffy white roll disappearing into his mouth, followed by a good portion of the hunk of cheese... The kid was ravenous, as ever.

"So. Any plans for today?" Roy asked as covertly as ever, expression betraying nothing out of the ordinary as he sipped at his coffee.

"Eh?" Ed spoke around a mouthful of food, scratching at the back of his head, contemplating. "Nah- might go to the river, wade around a bit. But other than that, I'm laying low."

"What about your father?" Riza asked, pouring herself a mug of coffee.

Ed's fork clattered to the plate noisily, and he looked up at Riza, eyes burning. "What about him?"

"You don't plan on spending time with him?"

"No. Why should I!?" Ed demanded, glaring.

"I was just asking, Ed. No need to get worked up." Riza said, taking a calm sip from her own mug.

"But on that topic- let's talk about what you said last night, Fullmetal." Roy said calmly, leaning forward.

Ed's eyebrows creased. "What, about my old man being a deadbeat, or an asshole?" he asked dryly.

Roy frowned slightly, leaning forward. "You said I'd been a better father to you than Hohenheim had."

"So?" Ed was back to eating again, mouth full of bread. "'S not exactly hard. Bastard left for ten years, gave us nothing- you got Al and I into the military an' all- more help than that asshole ever gave us."

Roy blinked, surprised. "So... you really meant it."

"Yeah." Ed paused for a moment, eyes narrowing in the silence that followed, before he looked up. "But don't be getting any funny ideas! Just because you're better than my Dad doesn't mean anything's different. My father's a piece of shit- and you're a piece of shit too. But you don't smell as bad."

Riza choked on her coffee, sputtering out what appeared to be laughter, and smoke appeared to be exiting Roy's ears as he scowled at in analogy.

"I'm still your superior officer, Fullmetal!"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Here we go with the god complex again-"

"I could have you court-martialed, Edward!"

"Yeah, and you could also use your fancy alchemy gloves to make us some toast, but I don't see that happening either!"

A vein began to throb in Roy's temple as his teeth seemed to sharpen. "Show some respect for once! If not for me, for alchemy!"

"Or what? You'll burn off my eyebrows?" Ed asked sarcastically. "Seriously, Mustang, you don't scare me. you need to get over yourself-"

"Pipsqueak!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A PIPSQUEAK SO SMALL HE COULD DROWN IN A RAIN DROP!?" Ed exploded, flailing angrily as smoke poured from his ears, as well.

" _Boys!"_ the sharp tone of Riza's voice made both Alchemists freeze and cringe- each expected to have a gun pointed at them.

Instead, however, Riza looked over at them, eyes bright for a moment as she surveyed the scene before her.

Finally finding the right words, she spoke. "Edward- show some respect to your father. Colonel- be nicer to your son." she gave them a grin before ducking into the hallway, chuckling quietly as the kitchen exploded into protests by both males behind her.

* * *

Not long after Roy and Ed had finished hurling insults at one another, Alfonse raced into the kitchen, looking upset.

"Brother- father- he's gone!"

Ed looked up from where his hand was wearing his cheek. "If I'd a known that bastard was gonna leave that soon, I'd have beaten his ass yesterday."

"But brother- we have to go find him! He couldn't have gotten far..."

Edward grit his teeth, before slamming his metal fist on the table, causing the floor to shake.

"When are you gonna get it, Al!? He doesn't care about us! He _never_ did!"

Ed turned, his red coat flying out behind him as he turned and ran out the door, automail leg clanging on the wooden porch before he was sprinting off.

"B-but he came back." Al said, voice quiet and trembling, before he fell into a chair. "That means he must care about us. Right?"

Hawkeye stepped into the room, hands covered in flower from where she'd been helping Winry bake the day's bread.

"It'd be hard not to care about you boys, Al."

"B-but if cares... Then why does he keep leaving us?" Al's voice sounded suspiciously close to breaking.

He was met with only silence, because no one knew the answer.

* * *

Lunch went by in near total silence, and as dinner approached, there was a significant lack of blonde hair and golden eyes in the house.

"Sir." Riza stepped into the room, a red apron tied over her military uniform ith a light dusting of flower, a strand of normally immaculate blonde hair falling in her face.

"Perhaps you should go fetch Edward. The boy's already missed lunch- with how short he is, it wouldn't be good for him to miss dinner too." she smiled slightly at her own short joke.

Mustang smirked slightly, standing. "Yeah. Good idea." the legs of his chair scraped against the floor as he stood, heading out onto the porch.

He sighed, running a hand through his jet black hair. If he were a pissed off, vertically challenged alchemist with daddy issues, where would he go to brood?

 _...might go to the river, wade around a bit..._

Roy smirked slightly as Ed's words came back to him.

Of course, the kid would go there. Not like there was anywhere else to go in this tiny country village.

He could see the river in the distance- he raised a gloved hand to shield his eyes from the sun, before he found the right direction and started walking.

He found Ed lying along the banks of the river approximately half an hour later. His characteristic red coat hung on the branches of a small bush, and he was shirtless, worn blue jeans.

He laid, hands folded resting behind his head, as the wind knocked his loose bangs from his face.

Roy smirked. "I thought I'd find you here."

"Yeah, well, you found me." Ed said, disinterested. The boy seemed more interested in watching the river.

Roy saw why. The river was close to overflowing. The additional water from the melting snow, as well as the torrential rains that spring brought, the river thundered past at a massive pace.

"It's going to happen again." Ed said calmly.

"Hmm?" Roy asked, raising his eyebrows.

"The river." Ed spoke as though it was obvious. "We're not even two weeks into the rainy season. If this keeps up, the river will overflow or break some of the damns downstream and flood the village. It's happened before- once, before I was born. A lot of people died that day. And it nearly happened again, when I was 9-"

Ed paused, frowning reminiscently. "But an alchemist passing through saw the trouble. She solidified the am, saved us all."

Ed sighed. "And now it's gonna happen again, if someone doesn't do something." he sat up, looking at the water with disinterest.

The river was nearly twenty feet wide and who knew how deep, and Ed sighed.

"And since I'm this town's homegrown alchemist, the task falls to me. I've just been tryin' to think of the best way to do it."

Roy nodded, dark eyes interested. "And what have you come up with?"

"Creating a dam. Just like teacher did all those years ago. But it's very difficult to transmute something directly into running water, since it's constantly moving. It required total precision. In order to do that- I'm going to have to use a transmutation circle."

Roy raised his eyebrows. "You? Using a transmutation circle?"

"Yeah. I don't normally do it, but in this case, it's needed."

Ed stepped forward, falling to his knees in the dirt at the very edge of the river bank.

He pulled his glove off and started to sketch in the loose dirt on the edge, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth in concentration.

Roy watched the boy, arms crossed, as he watched the boy work with silent admiration. Edward certainly was gifted, and he had a giving heart...

"Woah!" Ed shouted, followed by a splash.

Roy gaped, reaching out even though his gloved hand grasped thin air. The bank Ed had been kneeling on had completely given way, leaving Ed o be swept into the raging river...

"Edward!"

"H-help!" Ed choked out around a mouthful of water.

The boy was already ten feet away from him- Roy looked down, inhaling sharply, eyes widening. He was the flame alchemist- his alchemy, his trained skill- was useless when he was wet.

The river was gushing at an insane pace- throwing Ed around like a ragdoll. In the split second he'd spent thinking, Ed had been thrown into a large rock- he watched the boy go limp, partially submerged, before the river continued tossing his small body around like a ragdoll.

No time left to think. With Ed either unconscious or too disoriented to use alchemy, something primal took over- before he knew what he was doing, Roy was sprinting down the bank, getting as close to the boy's floating form before flinging himself into the water.

For a horrible, brief moment, he was completely submerged- he watched the bubbles leaving his mouth rise and mingle with the raging foam of water above him, before he broke the surface, coughing and gasping.

"Edward!" his voice was swallowed up by the sounds of rushing water, before he, too, was tossed into a formation of rocks.

Roy winced, kicking out his feet and paddling his arms. He was by no means a gifted swimmer, but he was proficient.

"Ed!"

The under tow pulled him under the river- he gasped, getting a mouth full of water, before he was being thrown head-over heel, surfacing just in time to grab another breath and righten himself.

His right knee was scraped against a sharp under water rock, and he winced, letting out a shout of pain- his breath was swallow up, though, when he got caught of a shock of blonde hair ten feet ahead of him.

He was paddling- for once, the current helped him, as he struggled to pull himself towards the boy. He felt nauseous, gasping when he saw Ed was floating face-down. He grabbed him by the back of the cloak- Ed was completely limp- when Roy pulled him up, his eyes were rolled back in his head.

He was slammed into another rock, losing his old on the boy and losing his breath in a gasp.

Still, a moment later he was forcing himself forward, seizing Ed beneath the shoulders. He wasn't going to lose hold of the boy again.

The crazy velocity of the river slowed as they entered a bend of the river, and Roy gasped- there.

A large bush hanging over the river- he reached up- snatching a hold of the branch, and stopping their journey through the tumultuous river.

"Edward- can you hear me? Ed!" Ed was a ragdoll in his arms.

Ed was limp in his arms. Roy struggled, one arm hooked beneath Ed's own, the other using the branch as a make-shift rope to drag them out of the hellish current, onto the bank.

He allowed him two seconds to gasp, regaining his breath, before trembling, exhausted muscles were dragging him onto his knees and he was focusing on the boy next to him.

"E-ed?"

The boy's eyes were rolled back in his head. Roy blinked, placing a hand- he'd lost one of his gloves somewhere in the river- over the boy's mouth to find no air escaping it.

The kid wasn't breathing.

He'd forgotten what he was doing- his vision was blurry with unshed tears.

"C'mon, kid- Ed. Wake up." Edward was perfectly still beside him, eyes staring up at nothing. _"Edward!"_ he could hardly believe that sound was coming from him, but instinct took over, now.

Interlacing the fingers of his left hand with his right, he was using the heel of his right hand to pump the boy's chest. Compression- that's what they did for soldiers weren't breathing in the field.

One, two, three, four- tears dripped down his face until he reached thirty.

He leaned down, tipping ed's head back and plugging the boy's nose, covering his mouth with his own. One, two breaths...

Who knew how long the kid had been face-down in that water before Roy could get to him.

 _"Breathe, godammit, breathe!"_ Roy was pumping the boy's chest again, his own chest heaving with exertion and emotion.

 _"You're too young to die! You get back here, brat..."_

He reached out, about to place his mouth over Ed's again and continue breathing for the boy, when Ed choked and sputtered.

Roy recoiled, eyes wide, and turned the boy onto his side- Ed vomited up a mouthful of water, gurgling and heaving again...

When he was sure he was done vomiting, ed fell back, boneless, taking in so e ragged breaths.

Roy blinked, stunned. Breathing. The kid was breathing on his own-

"D-dad?" Ed asked, looking groggily with half-lidded eyes.

Roy was so glad Ed was breathing again, he didn't even think twice about answering to the kid.

"Yeah, I'm here. Take a deep breath, Ed-"

Ed obeyed, grunting and grabbing his chest, wincing.

"Does it hurt?" Roy asked, concerned.

"Y-yeah..." Ed said, shuddering as his he laid back. It was a miracle the kid was even breathing on his own- Roy would've been stupid to consider Ed fit to walk.

"Alright. "Easy- just focus on breathing, alright, Ed?" he gather the half-metal teen in his arms, one arm beneath the boy's legs, one arm beneath the boy's back as he shakily stood on his own weak legs.

He was tired and banged up as well- but he was better off than Edward. That was what motivated him to step forward, one sloshing boot in front of the other.

Edward's metal limbs dangled limply, spilling water occasionally. it made the small boy that much heavier, and Roy's heart gave a painful tug- the heavy automail must've weighed Ed down- it was probably why the boy had been dragged underneath the river water in the first place.

Roy grimaced. Ed didn't really know where he was- this was Edward's town, but chances were if he kept heading upriver he'd find a bridge, and find his way back to the Rockbell's place.

Ed groaned. "Y-you can't carry me. A-automail's... heavy..."

"I can and I will." Roy said, the authority back in his voice. "You just keep breathing, Edward- I'll get us back home."

"T-thanks... Dad."

* * *

 **Please review. Did you think everyone was in character? What was your favorite/ least favorite part?**


	3. Conversation

**Please review your thoughts/feelings on this chapter. :)**

* * *

It took nearly an hour to find their way back home.

Roy wasn't without a sense of direction- he knew to head up river.

But he was drenched to the bone- aching and sore from being thrown around, chilled from the water and breeze, and weighed down not only by Edward's limp weight, but also by the boy' automail.

Still, he couldn't find it in himself to resent the boy he was carrying. It'd been a freak accident- it wasn't like Ed had asked to nearly die. And with the miserable teen burrowed into his chest, shivering slightly, Roy could feel every breath the kid took, feel the small heartbeat thrumming against his own. That was all that mattered.

He managed to stumble along what appeared to be the main road- by the time he saw the Rockbell residence in the distance, the sun had begun to set.

He saw a small blonde girl sitting on the porch- probably Ed's mechanic, Winry- dart inside, before Riza was standing on the porch, rushing down the road to look at him anxiously.

"What happened?" she looked from the limping Roy to the limp Edward, chocolate eyes wide as she surveyed them both.

He was illuminated by the yolky golden shades of the setting sun.

"Fell in the river. Got him- though- he's alright. We're both alright."

Riza nodded, though she still looked surprised, helping him stagger into the house.

"Good heavens." Pinoko set down her pipe, rushing to get towels to drape the two sopping wet heroes.

"Is brother alright?" Al asked- had he not been metal, Roy was sure he'd have been ringing his hands.

"He'll be fine, Alphonse. Both of them will." Winry hurried to reassure them-

Roy had set Edward on the couch before collapsing onto the piece of furniture himself, gratefully accepting the towel Riza handed him and drying off his hair, shedding his wet coat and shirt and toweling off, before looking down. Winry was fumbling to towel off an exhausted Ed- the boy slept on soundlessly.

Roy wordlessly began to scrub at the sopping wet blonde locks, and the boy fidgeted slightly, resting his head on Roy's leg.

"You pulled him out yourself?" Winry asked, noticing him as if for the first time.

Roy winced as Riza started to dab at his lacerated knee.

"Yeah." Roy said- truthfully, he was exhausted.

"That's impressive. Especially with how heavy his automail is."

"I know. He's heavy- for a couple seconds- I thought I lost him." Roy frowned, running his fingers through wet blonde locks carefully. "But Fullmetal's too stubborn to go down that easy." he felt the corner of his lips tug up in what was the ghost of a smile.

"So- what's next, Sir?" Hawkeye asked, looking down at her two damp heroes- the man she'd loved from a distance for years and the boy she'd thought of as a son for awhile now.

Roy sighed, running a hand through his damp hair.

"Tomorrow we report back to Central empty handed. We report a false lead- that the Elric brothers are believed to be headed North. Then we sniff around and see if it's true. About the Furher being a homonculus."

"What should we do?" Al asked- the suit of armor looked eager do take _some_ sort of action.

"Try and dam up the river. Edward was trying to when he fell in- from what it sounds like, it's going to be a pretty big problem if you two don't take care of it. More than a one alchemist job."

"Alright. When brother can get up, we'll do it." Alphonse nodded seriously.

Roy had many reasons for giving them the task- one, it'd give Edward a goal. A busy Edward was an Ed that was likely to stay out of trouble, especially when they were helping people.

"Team Mustang wil be ready to move out tomorrow, Sir." Hawkeye assured him.

Roy cocked an eyebrow. "...team Mustang?" he exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It's a long story." Riza assured him.

"And I'm sure you'll tell me all about it tomorrow." Roy said, sighing. "We've got a long trip back to Central tomorrow. I'm gonna get some rest."

"Smart idea, Sir. Everything will be packed and ready when you wake up tomorrow."

BREAK

Roy awoke to the sound of the grandfather clock ticking in the room, and dull golden eyes looking up at him sleepily.

He yawned, stretching. "Morning, Ed. How're you feeling?"

The boy blinked, surprised. "Sore." he admitted, squirming slightly from where his head rested on Roy's lap and wincing slightly.

"Yeah, well, that's not surprising, considering how long it took me to drag you out of that river."

Ed slowly sat up, shrugging as he rubbed at his chest idly. "Always so harsh. I fell in a river, it's not like I killed someone."

Despite his obvious soreness, Ed was still smiling as he scrubbed at his sleepy eyes.

"Ed... you weren't breathing."

Ed paused for a moment, eyes widening. Before he was scrubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly and laughing. "So, I've cheated death again, huh? The grim reaper's gonna have to get faster than that if he wants to catch me." he grinned.

Roy looked over at the boy, his charcoal eyes wide, before he clenched his jaw and turned, whacking Ed on the head.

"Hey, what was that for!?" Ed demanded.

"You can't just keep throwing your life around like it's some sort of plaything! You nearly die for the umpteenth time and you _laugh_ about it!?"

"Whoa whoa! Calm down!" Ed insisted, putting his hands up defensively. "Seriously, it's no big deal, it happens a lot..."

" _What_ did you say!?" Roy demanded, looking angry.

"I said it's no big deal, I've had worse than just a little water." Ed said, golden eyes hard with determination.

Roy opened his mouth to yell at the kid before abruptly snapping it shut again, eyes widening slightly. Ed was right- as a state alchemist, he'd faced far worse than near drowning. Barry the chopper- Nina- the homonculi.

"Just because you've seen hell, doesn't mean you can throw your life around like small bills." Roy said, eyes narrowed, glaring at the boy.

"In fact, I have half a mind to leave Hawkeye here to make sure you don't do your usual stupid shit."

"Come on, Colonel. You know I'm mostly a solo kind of guy." Ed's lip curled into a pseudo-pout and he crossed her arms- both flesh and metal- across his chest, before he was stifling a wet sounding cough.

"Yes, well, unless I can ensure your safety- even if it means staying your ego- I'm willing to risk it. Unless, of course, you promise me you'll be more discerning with your safety while I'm gone. We have a deal, Edward?" the Colonel allowed a slight smile to grace his lips.

Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever." he crossed his legs to match his crossed arms, looking away from the Colonel. "If I didn't know any better, it'd almost sound like you cared." he muttered.

Roy smirked, sitting up. "Yeah, well, it's the least I could do for my _son,_ ya know?" he leaned over, ruffling Edward's blonde locks.

"Oh come on! You said you wouldn't make it weird!" Ed floundered.

"Then you should quit trying to die. I know you think you're grown up- and while your skills are impressive, you're still able to be hurt. You need to watch your back- I can't keep tabs on you 24/7."

"Alright, alright- I'll be careful." Ed said, staring at his bare feet, before he smirked. "I'd worry about myself if I was you- old man." Edward managed to keep a straight face before he burst out laughing.

"Hey! Show your father some respect!" Roy said indignantly, though he was trying not to grin. Edward probably didn't hear him over his own howling laughter, anyways.

Roy shook his head, standing up. "Whatever, kid. Just look after yourself."

* * *

As they stood outside, with Team Mustang getting ready to depart, Roy looked over at his team, smirked, and striding over to Edward, patting him awkwardly on the head.

"Take care of yourself... son." He broke out coughing, which dissolved into a fit of awkward laughter at team Mustang's expressions, and Ed rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Colonel. I'll get you back when you least expect it!"

As the wagons pulled away, Roy gave him one last glance over his shoulder at the Elric brothers- the kids he'd felt responsible for for years.

He rested his chin his hand, scrutinizing the countryside as it flew by.

 _Maybe being called Dad won't be so bad._


	4. Adorably Dysfunctional

**Alright folks- this is the last chapter. I feel like this fic is kinda trash and that I didn't manage to get ym point across, but I also feel like it's some okay writing, so please give me feedback!**

 **I hope you like it, please review! :)**

* * *

Roy at at the table, gloved hands steepled, as he stared at generals, colonels, and other military officers around him at the table, pretending to be interested in the reports. Fuhrer Bradley sat at the head of the table, looking quite interested.

Truthfully, Roy was steaming slightly. He found it not only annoying but also unnerving that the fuhrer not only stop by unannounced, but also insist Colonel Mustang sit in on all the meetings and reports from other regions he had no interaction with.

While it was a good way to pick up useful bits of intel, it also meant he was getting further and further behind in his own duties...

All of a sudden, the door to the conference room was kicked open, the door slamming against the wall.

A shock of blonde hair and a red cloak flashed into the room.

"Hey Dad, here's your report!" Ed shouted, crumpled papers clutched in a gloved hand.

Ed's eyes widened slightly, coming face to face with the high-up brass.

"Uh... am I.. interrupting something?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Not at all, _son."_ Roy growled from within grit teeth, as he quickly stood, snatching the papers form Ed and sitting back down. "Now, _run along and play..."_ he growled, barely continued fury burning in his charcoal eyes. Still, Ed didn't appear to have paid any attention to it.

"Okay then. See ya at dinner." Ed waved, smiling slightly, before ducking out of the conference room, grinning.

Roy could've sworn he heard muffled laughter down the hallway.

The conference room was dead silent for a moment, as everything had come to a grinding halt.

"Well, Mustang, I didn't know you were so... ahem... friendly... towards your subordinates." hummed a Major.

"It isn't like that!" Roy barked, though his face was red as he hurriedly folded Ed's report and pocketed it, knowing he'd need to read it later.

Everyone full silent a moment later, as fuhrer Bradley's chuckling turned into all out laughter.

He looked up at the shocked gaggle of military men in the room, his one blue eye glistening with humor.

"I, for one, think it's quite admirable. The way the military fosters fraternity and bonds among its men."

Everyone stared for a moment, mouths opened, and Roy cleared his throat.

"It's not exactly like that, Sir..."

"Pish posh, no need to explain." the fuhrer flicked his wrist dismissively at Roy. "In face, it reminds me a little bit of Selim and I."

"But Sir, the boy just waltzed in here like he owns the place!" protested a General.

"Ah, so the boy is a bit uncouth." the fuhrer said calmly. "So what? I find his youth and spirit to be invigorating. Exactly the kind of thing a soldier needs to be- enthusiastic, with just a touch of recklessness. That Fullmetal boy is a source of inspiration for us all. I wish we had more soldiers like him."

Several of the officers glared mutely at Mustang, resentful- it wasn't often the fuhrer praised someone openly- let alone for recruiting a rogue kid like Edward.

Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "With all due respect, Sir, I have to disagree with you. I don't think the world could survive more than one Fullmetal."

Several generals guaffed, and some rolled their eyes at what they presumed to be Roy's dramatic, but the fuhrer chuckled.

"Perhaps you're right, Colonel. Perhaps you're right. The boy is quite a fire cracker. Now, back to matters at hand. General Hall, if you'd please continue with your report..."

* * *

Ed was sitting comfortably on the couch in the Colonel's office, his flesh leg crossed over his automail, arms spread out beside him.

He chatted happily with Hawkeye, when Roy came storming into the room and cuffed him upside the head rather roughly.

"Hey!" Ed protested, looking irked.

"What was that for!?"

" _That_ was for that stunt you pulled in the conference room! Do you know how badly that could've gone!?"

"I ain't afraid of no bureaucrats! I'm stronger than all of 'em! I'm a state alchemist!"

"I wasn't talking about you, you idiot! I was talking about _my reputation!"_

" _Huh!?"_ Ed suddenly looked horribly offended, flailing his arms wildly. "That's all you care about, huh, your stupid reputation!"

"Have you forgotten my reputation is what allows you to chase after some legend!?"

"Yeah, well at least I don't need my assistant pointing a gun at my head to make me do any work!"

Roy opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to come up with a decent retort, before he realized it- Hawkeye was his most valuable ally here.

"And you're just going to let him think this is okay!?" he demanded, turning to Hawkeye.

Hawkeye shrugged, chuckling slightly. "He said he'd get you back for calling him son. I didn't expect he'd do it _that_ way, exactly, but I don't think he did either..." Hawkeye grinned. "But at least he warned you."

"Gah!. Whatever." Roy mumbled, fairy throwing himself into his chair and beginning to sign paperwork with an angsty flourish. Being a father could be so annoying- especially when your first kid was the mischief-seeking Fullmetal brat.

* * *

Roy Mustang plunked his tray across from Riza Hawkeye as he sat in the mess hall, sighing. Today had been a rough day.

"Rough day?"

"You have no idea. I can't believe all the things that need people to sign paperwork for. It's like all these soldiers need a signature to wipe their asses..."

He was interrupted by the sound of another tray plunking down beside Hawkeye made his head snap up, before he found himself staring ad Edward Elric.

Edward nodded, as if to ask him to continue, before he was digging into his food at an insane pace.

Roy frowned, brows furrowing together as he wondered why exactly Edward had chosen to sit with him- or, more likely, _annoy_ him.

"Wha?" Ed asked, a drumstick hanging out of his mouth as he spoke around food. "I sa' I'd eat dinner wit you, Dad." he closed his eyes and gave him a stupidly big grin, before continuing to demolish his food at an insane pace.

Roy sighed, facepalming. Of course. One little joke, and now he was saddled with dealing with Edward all the time...

Suddenly, Roy spotted something and smirked. "Drink your milk, _son."_ he urged happily.

Edward's whole face turned into a scowl. "No way! It's gross!"

"Now Edward- maybe you should listen to your father." Riza said calmly, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Wha!?" Ed demanded, flushing.

Roy grinned. "Drink up, kid. It's the only hope you ever have of getting taller." Roy said with a grin.

" _Who are you calling so short he'd need a step stool to climb the stairs!?"_ he demanded.

Roy burst out laughing mid-sip of coffee and ended up spiting half of the dark brown liquid on the table, laughing at Edward's shouting and spazzing.

" _I'm not short, I'm fun sized! it's okay not to be tall, tall people could get struck by lightening!"_

He ended up choking on what was left in his mouth, banging on the table furiously around laughter.

" _Just you wait, I'm gonna hit a growth spurt and you'll all be on your knees before me!"_

The mess hall was left staring at a ranting Edward and a coffee covered colonel, staring at the bizarre scene in front of them, baffled.

" _What kind of a father are you!?"_

Ed finished angrily.

"Yours, Edward! And if you're not gonna show me some respect as an officer, then show it to me as your father!"

"What kind of father makes his kid drink milk!?"

"A good one, dammit!" Roy shouted, grabbing the bottle of milk and trying to thrust it into Edward's hands.

Edward astutely refused, and the situation quickly devolved into Edward shouting profanity as Roy chased after him, his offending bottle of milk in hand.

Until Roy tripped, falling forward and taking Edward down with him, spilling the bottle of milk on the way down.

Which led to a milk covered Edward attempting to strangle a milk-covered Roy, all while still on the floor.

The mess hall watched in muted fascination as the alchemists- the feared weapons of the state- wrestled while covered in milk.

Riza finished her coffee and set the mug down on her now empty tray, clanking it down before walking over to where her boys had stopped wrestling and were now shouting insults at one another.

Roy abruptly stopped hurling insults and paused, closing his mouth the blink before taking the handkerchief Hawkeye had offered him, mopping milk off his face.

"Hey, gimme some of that, will ya?" Ed demanded, trying to snatch the cloth away from Roy.

Riza smirked. Those were her boys- a little crazy, a bit dysfunctional- but a family, nonetheless.


	5. Go the heck to sleep!

**Alright, folks, here it is- another update.**

 **I'm currently on a train traveling across the US to my hometown, after an incredibly successful martial arts tournament, and it's late. But I wanted to post this for you.**

 **I thought last chapter would really be the end to this story. I really did.**

 **But then, my good friend Squee-bunny left a very wonderful review with a requested plot bunny- Roy struggling to get Ed to go to sleep.**

 **As you can see, it was exactly the inspiration I needed, and I took it and ran with it.**

 **So give a big thanks to Squee-bunny for her inspiration (thanks, Squee-bunny!) and drop a review to motivate me to keep writing. I'm going to bed, folks. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

They were staying at a hotel in West City, on direct orders of the Furher himself.

A high up Drachmian official had been communicating intentions to defect- he had stolen a large amount of information of the Drachmian government and was willing to trade all this crucial information on their enemies for asylum.

Having taken such precious information, however, led to a very large target being drawn on the back of their potential ally.

The man was currently crossing the western swamps- within a day, he'd be within the bounds of Amestris.

Due to the critical amount of information he was carrying, however, he was no doubt being pursued by the very best Drachmian assassins.

And so it fell to the best the state had to offer- the legendary Flame Alchemist and the growing legend of the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Their mission was to intercept their target- the Drachmian turned traitor- in the swamps tomorrow, and escort him safety back to Central city without allowing any harm to come to him.

However, that was all to happen at an obscenely early hour tomorrow morning. Tonight- or rather, this afternoon- their only objective was to get a good rest so they could carry out their duties tomorrow.

Which led to their current predicament- Edward pacing around the hotel room as Roy laid in bed, trying to sleep.

Roy could hear each and every step Edward took- the dull, rather hollow step of his flesh foot on the carpet followed by the rather heavy sound of his automail.

Edward hummed as he paced, some tune Roy was unfamiliar with, but that annoyed him all the more. His brow furrowed and he pulled his pillow over his head, counting to ten...

The muffled sound of flesh hitting the carpet, followed by the slightly heavier one of metal.

Roy grunted, turning and propping himself up on his elbow.

"Fullmetal." he said in a tone that was not to be argued with, "Go. To. Sleep."

The blonde blinked, looking surprised. He was clad in lose hanging blue sweatpants and a sleeveless white t-shirt, and his golden braid hung sloppily and loosely.

"But I'm not tired."

"I don't care if you're tired, Fullmetal. Go to sleep." and with that said, Roy rolled over, intending on getting a good night's sleep.

He heard feet padding over to the bathroom, before the small door shut- the sound of a toilet flushing, and running water- before the door squeaked open, golden candle light flooding into the room once more.

Roy expected the kid to climb into bed, blow out the candle, and go the heck to sleep.

He was dismayed and a bit surprised when instead the footsteps stopped abruptly, replaced by a maddening scratching sound, followed by a snapping, and a muffled curse...

More scratching. More scratching of a slightly higher pitch- another snap, another curse.

The candle light burned through his eyelids, and he swore, sitting up.

"Fullmetal, just what the heck are you doing?" he demanded, voice holding a bit more venom. It was just past midnight, what on earth could the kid be doing now?

He found a rather surprised looking Edward seated at the small desk, surrounded by pencil shavings and paper.

"Oh- uh- I was just fixing up some of the reports you said were unacceptable. Fixing the mistakes. But this darn pencil keeps breaking." Ed admitted, looking frustrated.

Roy blinked, wondering how exactly to handle this. He decided a stern but brief approach was needed.

"Fullmetal- those reports were atrocious, but only because you misspelled at least ten words each. Also, what gave you the idea it was okay to do them at midnight!?  
he was seriously getting annoyed, now.

He frowned, getting even more annoyed. "And." he added, as a very terse after thought- "those reports are supposed to be done in _pen,_ Fullmetal, so the fact that your pencil is prone to snapping LOUDLY at night is irrelevant. Now go the heck to sleep."

Ed was frowning slightly, lips pursed. "Well, that's unfair."

Maybe tiredness was getting to him. Maybe he was over having a thirteen year old kid bothering him all the time. Regardless, however, he snapped. "What about it isn't fair, Fullmetal!?"

"The whole reason these words are misspelled is because I wrote them in pen! If it were pencil I could just erase them and fix it easy without having to re-write the whole freaking report!"

"Well maybe you should just spell the words right the first time, then! you managed to pass the state alchemy exam, why can;t you spell words correctly!?"

"My mind moves faster than my hand, and if I don't write quickly and stopped to puzzle over every stupid word and how to spell it correctly, I'd lose my train of thought entirely. Do you want accurate reports or grammatically correct ones!?" Ed shouted, his teeth seeming to have grown rather pointy, a red hashtag throbbing on his temple in annoyance.

There was a banging on the wall, then, and what sounded a lot like a muffled _"I'm tryna get some #$% &* ! sleep here!" _that made both Ed and Roy pause and stare at the wall for a moment, intrigued. Apparently the hotel walls were surprisingly thin.

Still, Ed had a point. And it was such a _Fullmetal_ thing to say- he was even considering the kid's ideas reasonable, now, he must _really_ need to sleep.

Still, Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "you know what, fine. you can do your reports in pencil from now on, Fullmetal, just put out that candle and get in bed."

To his relief, Ed listened to him, extinguishing the candle and climbing into the second bed in the room, un-tucking the sheets and wrapping them around himself in a messy fashion.

Silence. _Finally,_ Roy, could get some sleep...

Except for the cursed rustling! He swore Edward was thrashing around in bed like some sort of snake...

He didn't even open his eyes this time. _"Edward. Why aren't you_ sleeping?"

"...Sorry. It's just too _hot,_ okay?" Edward grumbled, tossing and turning some more. Roy paused- it was quite hot and muggy in this region- he only had one sheet covering him, and even then, it was warm...

He was in a white t-shirt and baggy black sweat pants, and he wordlessly crossed the room, opening the window. The sounds of tree frogs filtered into the room, as well as the slightly less stuffy and a bit more cool and damp night air.

"There." he grunted, stumbling back into his own bed. "Better?"

"Yeah." Ed's voice actually sounded a lot more relaxed as he spoke, as though the kid were nearing sleep. "Thanks, Dad..."

Roy paused for a moment, before he smirked slightly. Dumb kid- still playing that same old inside joke- but even then, if he were this close to sleep... did that mean Edward actually believed it? He'd held out for this long- Roy was starting to think the kid really did see him- of all people- as some sort of a father figure.

He would've let his musings guide him into sleep, were it not for another rustling sound...

"Ed. _Sleep._ " Roy mumbled into his pillow, sounding annoyed.

"Huh?" Ed sounded confused and genuinely close to sleep himself. "Wasn't me, Dad..."

Roy scoffed. "Sure. Just _sleep._ "

Two minutes of blissful silence almost allowed him to sleep, before that rustling sound came again, followed by the very awake voice of Edward Elric.

"Roy! I don't think we're alone in this room!?"

Roy's eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright, years of mortar shellings and explosions coming back to him, his fingers poised to snap, even though he wore no gloves. Still, after a moment of silence, Roy frowned, his heart rate slowing as he laid back in bed. Fullmetal was just being a child. "There's nothing here Edward, just go to sleep."

"You're not listening to me! Something's _here!"_ Ed insisted.

Roy's eyes had already fallen closed. "You're just tired, Fullmetal- get some sleep."

Ed did't reply, feeling thoroughly ignored.

A moment later, that rustling sounded _again_...

"See?" Ed's voice sounded quiet but assured, like a vindicated child. "There it is aga- _something just touched my ear!"_

Ed was screaming a mixture of exclamations as he fell out of bed, hitting the floor heavily in a massive heap of flailing blankets and automail.

Something about Ed's tone scared Roy, and He snatched his gloves off the bedside table, a well-placed snap lighting the candle as he knelt on the floor beside Ed, pulling the thrashing, screaming heap into his arms and diving onto his bed, to safety, to assess the kid...

"Edward. _Ed!"_ Roy snapped. The heap of blankets in his arms stopped struggling, and in the golden candle light he found wide golden eyes looking up at him, along with tangled golden hair...

There was no blood on the sheets. No obvious injury. But Edward was panting and, for al purposes, looked to be scared. Not much could scare the Fullmetal Alchemist, and it was enough to convince Roy whatever had just happened had been real.

"What happened?"

"I... it touched me! I know you don't believe me, but I'm not lying, something touched my ear!" Ed sounded genuine, golden eyes showing no hint of lying, and Roy nodded slowly.

He didn't notice that he still hadn't released his hold on Ed. He still had one arm looped under the teens legs and the other holding him closely to his chest as he peered around the room, surveying for any acute danger...

He recoiled sharply as a dark shape swooped nearby, shielding Edward with his body, and the shape retreated back towards the ceiling, clawing at the plaster pitifully.

Roy frowned, realizing it. "It's a bat, Edward."

"Huh?" golden eyes hesitantly peered upward, only to see the source of his terror was indeed, a small bat.

Roy lifted his fingers, snapping with precision- a small jet of fire erupted near the bat, and the creature squeaked, fleeing in the opposite direction, flying back out of the open window and into the night.

Roy found himself crossing the room again, closing the window a large amount so that no other bats could get in.

He strode back over to where Ed sat, a mess of blankets, on her bed, sitting beside him and brushing the golden locks away from his ear. "Lemme see that- it was this ear, right?"

Ed nodded.

Roy frowned, scrutinizing it. "No blood. Doesn't look like he scratched or bit you. Did it hurt?"

"N-no. It just felt like something brushed against me." Ed admitted, still looking rattled.

"Right." Roy nodded, letting the golden hair fall back into place. "Well, he was probably swooping for insects when he found you..." he trailed off, leaving the avenue open and hoping to find some of Fullmetal's bravado...

"Who're you callin' so short they're mistaken for an insect!" Edward managed quietly- not with his usual fire, but with some spunk, nonetheless. Besides- it was late. Roy was sure the kid had had a long day, anyways.

"Yeah, well- you should lay back down."

Ed nodded, taking the sheet from the mass of blankets around him and pulling it over his head like a hood, lying back on Roy's bed and eyeing the window with trepidation.

Roy realized he was trying to make it so nothing else could brush his face at night. And he also noticed how Fullmetal made no move of heading back towards his own bed, which was closest to the window. instead, he darted another hesitant glance towards the window before flickering his eyes towards Roy for a fraction of a second, then looking at the floor, biting his lip, as though he was... afraid?

Roy frowned. Now was no time for Fullmetal to be having issues with the fact that he was still a child...

"And if you're going to sleep in my bed, the least you could do is scoot over and give me some blankets." Roy finished.

Edward looked up, surprised, before he was hurriedly obliging, scooting over- Roy wisely chose to ignore the teenager's relieved expression, instead climbing onto his bed and laying his head on the pillow.

"Goodnight, Ed."

For a long moment, he though he wouldn't get any response, that the teen was too ashamed of his behavior- his fear- and that he would refuse to acknowledge this incident at all.

But yet again, Fullmetal surprised him, as a moment later, he heard a hesitant... "Goodnight, Dad."

He fell asleep listening to the rhythm of the blonde haired teenager he;d come to know as his son lying beside him.

* * *

 **There it is! A little humor, a little bit sweet, just the way I like 'em.**

 **Please review what parts made you laugh/ your favorite parts- as Squee-bunny has shown, one review can realy make a difference! You guys motivate me to write this! :)**


	6. Escaping a Lecture

**Alright folks, I'm baaacck! Could really use a pick me up after a rough day, since I have absolutely NO FILTER, and my lack of social skills is going to get me in trouble someday.**

 **On another note- I'm starting another story! It's a parental Roy/Ed- should be pretty short, from a 1-3 shot. It involves some hurt/comfort, and it's called Burned. I hope you guys wil go over and read it- it would really mean a lot to me if you did! :)**

* * *

"Fullmetal! Just give me the report already!" Roy shouted, sprinting down the hall after his red clad subordinate.

"Forget it old man!" Ed shouted, sprinting around the corner in a flash of blonde and crimson, vaulting desks as he ran through the office.

He disappeared around the corner, and Roy swore, running a gloved hand through his hair. "Why the heck didn't you grab him, Havoc?" he asked, irritated that he'd have to chase the kid down.

Havoc shrugged from where he was sitting at his desk, cigarette dangling from his lips. "He's your son, Colonel."

If alchemy could've been performed by sight alone, Havoc would've burst into flames from the heat of Roy's gaze.

* * *

Ed sprinted down the halls of East City's HQ, paying no mind to the interns and recruits he blew past, who either rolled their eyes or dropped their papers in a fluttering mess.

 _I gotta hide. If Mustang finds out I blew up_ another _abandoned factory while I was in it, he'll kill me. I thought he was out today, and I'd get away with just turning it into Hawkeye... Dangit, this is going to end in another lecture._

He slammed into a potted plant as he rounded the corner- the pot shattered on impact, and the crash was incredibly loud.

Ed paused, panting for one moment, two, hoping no one had heard that...

 _"FULLMETAL!"_

 _Dammit._ he thought, wincing. If Mustang wasn't pissed before, he was now. He started to run down the halls faster this time. _I'm_ SO _going to get lectured._

He smirked slightly as a devious thought entered his mind. _But only if Mustang catches me._

* * *

Roy had considered letting Fullmetal's little display of brattiness go. He really had. Until he heard something shatter. Some sort of Dad reflex must've kicked in, because at first he was concerned the kid might've hurt himself, followed by him being incredibly pissed at the kid for breaking something with his stupid stunt of running off- and before he knew what'd it him, he was charging down the hallway after the kid.

"Wow." havoc stared, switching his cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other. "Never really seen the Colonel run that fast before."

Breda smirked. "Betcha twenty cens Mustang hogties the kid and brings him back here in five minutes."

Havoc smirked. "Betcha thirty the kid gets away."

"Deal."

* * *

Edward took the stairs two at a time, braid hanging in the air behind him. He couldn't hear Mustang asking which way he went, but that was a good sign, right?

Little did he know, Mustang didn't have to ask where he'd gone- he simply followed the trail of destruction and interns picking up scattered papers.

He didn't even realize the man was behind him until the man had almost grabbed his braid- he flashed a horrified glance behind him, before shifting his momentum and jumping, pulling a move that made Roy pause for a moment.

The kid vaulted the railing, landing on the next flight of stairs down. A normal person probably would've broken an ankle doing that, but Edward was fine- he kept running, at least. Roy grit his teeth- not wanting to risk the move himself- before he was continuing to chase after his insane subordinate, vowing to catch the brat.

Even though Ed had a temporary lead- Roy's stride was longer. So when he got to the hallway a good minute ahead of the man, he took advantage of it, vaulting into the nearest vent he could find.

As soon as Roy raced into the hallway after him, however, he saw the lack of destruction and knew-

* * *

Hughes walked into the hallway, hands full of snapshots of Alicia to show Roy Mustang, to find the feared flame alchemist- the hero of Ishval- trying to remove a veyr pissed looking Edward Elric from a vent in the ceiling.

"Leggo of me you bastard!" Edward shouted.

Roy had him by the leather-clad leg. "If you'd quit being so childish, I wouldn't have to!" he punctuated the sentence with a herculean tug, and Ed came tumbling out of the vent- landing on top of Roy in a tangle of flesh and automail.

"Agh!"

Edward was struggling, but Roy had the kid by the collar.

"Don't think you're getting away that easily, half-pint!" he hissed between ground teeth.

"Um... Roy? Am I interrupting something?" Hughes said, for once taking in the context of the situation before babeling about his daughter.

Roy looked over, surprised by Hughes, and Ed took advantage of the moment to scramble away...

"Dammit Hughes!" Roy shouted, before he was on his feet too, chasing after the brat.

Edward vaulted a couch in a sitting room, knocked over an end table, and started racing upstairs, with Roy on his heels.

Edward was panting hard by the time he'd reached the top floor- all he ahd to do was get tot eh roof and he could escape down the fire escape.

He tried the door to the stairwell to the roof only to find it locked.

Roy was emerging at the other end of the hallway, and he swore, running- one, two...

If he couldn't get to the fire escape from the room- he'd have to get to it from the window.

He pulled open the window he was next to- in some distant corner, he could hear Roy shouting something at him- but the window was open, he was sitting on the ledge- Roy was five feet from him, and he was home free-

His eyes widened as he looked down to see nothing beneath him. No fire escape, no ledge- nothing- just a sheer fire foot drop.

A moment later he was roughly grabbed by the red cloak, wrenched back from falling to his death...

" _Dammit, Fullmetal! I told you not to jump!"_ Roy's voice held a panicked note as he held to the kid, grabbing the cloak like the lifeline it was.

Ed's breath had left him in a rush at the height, and he looked over to his right, only to realize he'd miscalculated- the fire escape was two windows down.

The wind blew, scattering his golden bangs across his forehead and swirling his cloak around. He stared down at his boots- at the sheer drop to concerte- and remembered the one man holding him up by the collar.

"Fullmetal-" Roy grunted. His shoulder was aching under the strain of holding the kid up. "Don't just hang there like a sack of stupid- grab my hand already!"

"R-right."

Ed turned, looking up with shockingly childlike trust, as he offered up his flesh hand, grabbing Roy's hand that clung to his cloak.

Once he was certain his grip was solid, he grabbed Roy's wrist with the other hand- the wind swirled around his ankles, and a large gust actually moved him slightly.

A small yip involuntarily escaped his lips, and his eyes widened with absolute fear as he looked down to see the world swaying beneath him...

"Ed! Look at me!"

Golden eyes snapped up and focused on Roy, who took a breath. "I'm gonna pull you up, alright?"

Ed didn't know it, but he was shaking- the kid's automail limbs were heavy, and he wasn't sure he would withstand the kid through another gust of wind like that.

Edward nodded.

Roy strained, stepping back- his muscles screamed, but he was reminded of the alternative if he didn't pull the kid up, and a rush of adrenaline and he and Edward were laying in a heap on the carpet, panting.

Ed took a moment to appreciate being on solid ground again, and reminded himself to note the fire escape was under the _ninth_ window down, not the seventh.

Roy simply gasped in a breath, congratulating himself.

Maybe he wasn't just faking his way through this. He had to be a pretty good father- he'd made sure his idiot spawn hadn't fallen off a building.

Now, he just had to make sure the kid got it through his head to NEVER, EVER, do that again.

"Fullmetal, you idiot."

"Ugh." Ed sighed. Being the teenager he was, he'd completely gotten over his near death experience, and was now focusing completely on the lecture he was receiving. This was the whole thing he was trying to avoid.

"And while we're at it- give me your report!"

Ed sighed, looking horribly inconvenienced, before he was shoving the rumpled paper.

Roy reach it, brows creasing. "So." he said, sounding slightly exasperated. "You blew up another old warehouse."

Ed nodded, staring at the ground, wanting this lecture to be over as son as possible.

Mustang frowned. "So you wanted to hide it from me. Alright. But jumping out a window? All over a report?"

"I didn't want you to be mad about it!" Ed muttered.

"You didn't want me to be upset..." Roy mumbled, looking surprised. "So you jumped out a window to avoid making me upset. And you didn't think that you nearly dying would make me more upset? Do you know how much paper work I'd have to fill out if you ended up a puddle on the cement!?"

"I didn't think things through, okay!?" Ed threw his hands up in the air, frustrated.

"No really. I hadn't noticed." Roy muttered, rolling his eyes.

Ed sighed, though he cast a sideways glance at Roy. Maybe... it had worked out. Roy had been so busy being upset about him jumping out the window, he hadn't even lectured him about the report...

So he'd still gotten away with something.

"Don't ever do that again." Roy said firmly, folding the report and tucking it into his pocket. He was about to say something more to scold him, when he was interrupted by a loud growl.

Ed blushed slightly, placing a hand to his stomach and looking at the floor.

Roy smirked, forgetting about his lecture for now. "Wanna go grab lunch?"

Ed nodded, getting to his feet and grinning, heading for the stairs with Roy behind him, his previous altercations forgotten. Maybe having his Dad running headquarters wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

 **Please review! I'd love it if you told me;**

 **1.) Your favorite part**

 **2.) Parts that made you laugh**

 **3.) Suggestions for future paternal oneshots! :)**

 **Please also check out my other fic! :)**


	7. Allergic- 1

**Tsukiko K- this one's for you. You gave me really good, detailed suggestions, and so here it is.**

 **I apologize for the long hiatus- I'm taking 21 credit hours this semester, so I kinda don't sleep anymore, meaning I write fics when I get the time. I'm in a lull right now, so here's another chapter. Please review!**

* * *

They sat at the large table of Eastern HQ, white tablecloth and plates set before them. The dull chatter of the military men around them created a gentle hum, and team Mustang sat at their assigned section- Riza, Havoc and Mustang across from Breda, Furey, Falman, and a rather bored looking Edward Elric.

"Why are we here again?" Ed asked, allowing his eyes to drift around the room aimlessly. He found absolutely nothing of interest.

Someone stepped on his foot from under the table- not enough to hurt, but enough to feel the pressure inside his boot. Edward looked up from where he'd been playing with his fork to see Riza looking at him seriously.

"Keep your voice down." She implored, looking around to make sure none of the higher-ups had heard his question.

"We're here because the Military Ball is a tradition, Edward, and it's an _honor_ to host it at Eastern HQ this year." Roy said simply from where he rested his chin in his hand, looking around. There was a large array of officers here.

"And while it's a bit _boring_ to you, it's a chance to do some networking for others. You can make valuable connections here. So while you might not have any ambitions for your military career, it's very important to _some_ of us. So you'd better watch yourself."

Edward's golden eyes met Roy's narrowed charcoal gaze, and he nodded.

"I'll try to remember that."

Roy nodded, satisfied by the sincerity of the boy's answer. Ed had promised not to try and create trouble. And with someone as magnetic for trouble as Ed- that was all he could really ask.

The waiters came around with the first course- a shrimp salad- and they began to eat as they talked.

"You know, kid." Breda swallowed a mouthful of salad, smirking. "I'm shocked they had military blues in your size."

"The same goes for you." Ed said, picking at his salad lazily.

Falman smirked, and Havoc snickered. "Burn." He spoke quietly.

Mustang smiled slightly at the boy's sass. "You walked right into that one." He admitted to the portly sergeant, who nodded, looking slightly bemused. "I suppose I did."

"Are you going to eat your salad, or just play with it, Ed?" Riza asked calmly, noting the boy had simply pushed it around on his plate rather than eating it.

"Huh? Oh… sorry. I don't like shrimp." Edward said simply.

"I love it. Can I?" Furey asked, looking over at the boy from where he'd already finished his plate.

"Knock yourself out." Ed slid his plate over to the man who eagerly started in on it.

A waiter came around, placing a glass of red wine in front of Ed's empty water cup. Roy reached over calmly and took it, meeting the waiter's eyes.

"He'll have water, please."

"Of course." The waiter was already hurrying off, and Roy sipped the glass, looking at Edward pointedly. "If things go well tonight, I'll consider letting you have a glass when everything is over."

Ed smirked, looking bemused. "Wine's nothing compared to what I've had before."

Mustang's eyes widened, and Falman looked interested, swirling his glass. "Really Boss? Do tell."

Ed smirked. "Well- trip up North I took a few weeks back, to find out about the alchemist who can supposedly heal illness without red stone? The only witness was jailed up at Briggs. He was 19. Only way to get the information out of him was to challenge him to a drinking contest. Drachman spirits."

"You didn't." Riza looked at him, wide-eyed.

Ed shrugged. "A mission is a mission. We went glass for glass for a while before he got loose-lipped. I was kind of fuzzing out around the fourth glass, but by then he was talking, so all I had to do was write down what he was saying…."

"That report was nearly illegible." Mustang frowned.

"Because the kid was wasted." Havoc looked at Edward with a mixture of awe and disbelief.

Ed nodded, sipping his glass of water calmly. "Got the intel though."

"And when I got word you were going to be late coming back because of illness…."

"I was sick, yeah. But I got the intel. Also realized how filthy the bathrooms at Briggs are, after I slept in one."

"Jeez, kid." Breda shook his head, and Edward shrugged.

"Edward. We will be discussing this later." Mustang said simply. "How did you even _get_ Drachman spirits?"

Ed smirked, pulling open his blue military coat with a white gloved hand and dangling his alchemist's watch. "It does a lot of talking sometimes."

Mustang rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of course."

"I gotta give him points for creativity." Havoc said, pointing his fork.

Ed smirked slightly.

"Moving on- everyone try to make your best impressions tonight. Especially you." Mustang looked pointedly at Ed.

"I already said I would." Ed said, looking at him innocently.

"Was that story meant to bolster my confidence?" Mustang asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"I get it, my only mission tonight is to make you look good. No stunts, no tricks- just wholesome military comradery." He pulled his lips back to display a youthful smile that was equal parts youthful and charming, with his mischievous side deceitfully absent.

"Right. Keep it that way." Mustang spoke quietly.

The waiters came around with small metal boats of lobster bisque.

Edward frowned, swirling his spoon around curiously. He wanted to sniff the concoction, but that would _definitely_ not be the well mannered thing to do, so instead he looked across the table at Riza. Everyone else was already digging in.

"It's a bisque, Edward."

Edward's expression didn't change.

"It's a really creamy soup. It's quite good. At least try a little before you decide you don't like it."

Edward nodded, bringing a spoonful to his lips and taking a bite, looking thoughtful.

"Well?" Mustang asked, curious.

"This is really good." Edward admitted, quickly taking another bite.

"See kid. These military banquets aren't all bad- the food is good, at least." Falman said quietly, and Ed smirked, eagerly eating another spoonful.

Ed fairly demolished half of his bisque- it was so rich it was hard to finish. The main course of steak arrived soon after, and Ed started digging in eagerly, but about halfway through moved back to pushing food around his plate.

Conversation continued comfortably, but Ed had gone mostly quiet, and everyone assumed it was because he was busy eating.

It was nearly twenty minutes later, as chairs were pushed back and people stood, ready to walk over to the dessert table and begin dancing and conversing, when most of team Mustang stood.

Ed was still sitting at the table, hand to his throat, looking distant.

"Ed? You going to get up? Eveyone else is going to start mingling, you should probably…." Breda's voice trailed off when Ed's gaze snapped up, eyes looking distant and a bit fearful.

"Colonel- what was in that bisque?" his cheeks were unnaturally flushed, even if it was kind of hot in the room, and Mustang frowned. The kid didn't look right.

"Lobster, I think. We should mingle…."

"Huh? Yeah, right…. Excuse me for a minute." Ed quietly ducked out of the ballroom.

Roy watched him go, a nagging feeling that something was _off_ lingering….

He waited five minutes before he ducked out of the crowd, finding Furey was the only one not engaged in conversation at the moment.

He turned to his young communications sergeant, speaking to him quietly. "Go see if you can find Ed for me, will you? Check the men's room and outside. He was acting uncharacteristically quiet."

"Yes sir." Furey looked slightly perplexed, but did as he was told, hurrying out of the room.

Less than two minutes later, he was jogging back into the room, looking pale and giving Mustang a look that made him calmly set down his drink and excuse himself to go see the sergeant.

A moment later they were jogging down the hallway, Mustang nearly overtaking Furey. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I found him and I couldn't leave him, but Havoc showed up so I could run and grab you…."

Furey threw the door of the men's lavatory open. The first thing that hit him was the stench of vomit, and his heart dropped to his boots.

"Take it easy Ed, I've got you…."

The fifth cubicle down, Ed was fairly being supported by lieutenant Havoc, on his knees, slumped in front of the toilet and retching, with vomit spattered on his uniform and on the tile floor beside him.

"Ed?"

Ed swallowed harshly, looking behind him with glassy eyes. "…Dad?"

A second later he was on his knees in front of the ill teen, tapping his cheek. The boy's cheeks, which had been flushed ten minutes before, were now a vibrant scarlet, spattered with unnatural red dots.

"Are you alright?"

Ed swayed slightly, and Roy reached out, putting his hands on the boy's shoulders to steady him. The kid was drenched in a sheen of sweat.

He turned to look at Havoc. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know- I walked in to find Furey holding the kid up. He's been like this the whole time, I think... I thought it was food poisoning at first, but he's not himself…."

"If it was food poisoning, we'd all have it." Roy dismissed.

Ed's mouth was open, he was panting slightly. Roy's eyes widened. "Unless someone poisoned him specifically. What has he had that we haven't?"

"Water is the only thing different." Havoc said simply. "Could someone have spiked his water?"

Ed reached out, batting at Mustang's uniform and getting the older man's attention.

He shook his head. "Not… poison. Shrimp… lobster…." The boy shuddered, slumping forward abruptly. Roy pulled the kid to his chest to keep him from slumping to the floor, blinking.

"Shrimp… lobster?"

"Is he allergic to shellfish?" Havoc asked quietly.

Ed's golden blonde mop bobbed up and down as he nodded into Roy's chest. He peeled his head back, flushed cheeks and golden eyes looking up at Roy desperately as he panted, speaking hoarsely.

"Can't… breathe…."

Roy's eyes widened slightly, but he was moving, looping his arm beneath Ed's knees and under his back.

"Furey- your car- now. We have to get him to a hospital. Havoc- tell Riza what happened, she's in charge of the team."

Furey was already pulling the keys from his pocket. 'I'll pull up out front." He assured him, before he was sprinting from the room.

Havoc gave one last glance at Ed before he was ducking out of the lavatory, and Roy cast a glance down at the boy as he himself was jogging down the hall to the front entrance, not really caring about anything else at the moment.

Ed pawed at his chest, managing somehow to lock his arms around mustang's neck and bury his face in the crook between the man's shoulder and neck.

His breathing hoarse, face damp with sweat. Still, Roy could at least feel the warm breaths on his neck to let him know the kid was still breathing. He found himself rubbing the kid's back.

"Easy Ed. I've got you, and I'm not letting go anytime soon. We're gonna get you to the hospital."

Furey turned down the corner sharply and pulled up, and Roy threw open the back door, slamming it shut. He didn't have to utter a word- Furey was driving before he'd even fully shut the door.

Mustang was carefully rearranging the thirteen year old in his lap, trying to lay the boy's legs out across the back seat so his head was in his lap.

Ed rasped and choked desperately, and Roy quickly abandoned that endeavor, instead allowing the teen to cling to his arm to keep himself upright, head lolling against him.

"It's going to be alright, Ed."

They were ten damn minutes away from the nearest hospital.

Tears were streaming down the boy's hive-covered cheeks. Roy could only imagine what it felt like, the terror of being unable to breathe.

Now that he wasn't preoccupied by running the boy to the car, he could hear every painful wheeze and rasp as the kid desperately tried to get air.

Furey roughly swung the car around a corner at a speed that made then both lunch to the side, but Roy wrapped his arms around Ed, holding the kid steady, as they continued to tear down the streets.

The kid was shaking, and Roy felt absolutely, totally pathetic. Every rasp tore at something inside him, the kid was fighting to breathe, fighting for very life in front of him, and he was _useless…._

He wasn't even sure if Ed was coherent enough to still hear him anymore. But he reached up anyways, gloved hand brushing the tears away from the flushed face.

"Shh… shh, it's okay Ed."

"Hrrzz… _scared…."_ Ed rasped out.

There was something wet on his face, he realized, as he leaned close to the kid. "I know. I am too, Ed, but we're going to fix this, you'll be fine…."

Furey took another corner at break-neck speed, sending Roy flying into the door and Ed to land roughly against him.

Ed made a muffled gurgling sound, and Roy realized with some horror the kid was choking on his own vomit.

He hurriedly rightened himself- Ed was jerking convulsively, and without thinking, Roy forced the frantic kid down onto his lap, turning him onto his side.

A mouthful of vomit spattered onto his uniform and the floor below him, but he didn't care, dammit, it sounded like the kid was _drowning._

He gave the kid one, two hard hits on the back, military training taking over as he looked down. The boy's mouth was open, his airway seemed clear….

His eyes were rolled back in his head. The rasping was increasing in volume. Roy had though hearing Ed trying to vomit with his throat swollen up was the worst noise he'd ever hear, but this rattling, choking attempt to breathe was far worse….

"Ed… hey, Ed, can you hear me!?"

Jesus Christ, the kid's lips were turning blue.

"Furey he's not responding!"

The car slammed into the curb as Furey hit the brakes. "GO!"

Roy raised his head to find they were at the hospital and fairy threw the door open, a limp Edward in his arms as he threw open the doors of the hospital.

"Help! I need help, my son, he can't breathe!"

Patients looked up from where they were waiting, and a nurse dropped her clipboard, rushing over.

She took one look at Edward.

"I need Epinephrine, now!"

A doctor was sprinting out a moment later, and two people came over, feverishly pushing a gurney. Roy laid the kid down on it- they were trying to push him away, down the hall, and Roy found himself sprinting alongside, watching the boy's face as they shined a flashlight down his throat and shouted orders.

"How long has he been like this!?"

"He passed out two minutes ago, started vomiting about twenty before that."

"What's he allergic to?"

"Shellfish, I think!"

They found themselves in a curtained bay of the emergency area.

Someone rushed over with a syringe, stabbing the needle through the fabric of Ed's thigh and looking shocked when the syringe and needle both fractured into a thousand pieces.

"That's his auto mail leg! You have to use the other one!" The nurse swallowed, before she was rushing out to get another syringe. She came back in a moment later, looking frazzled as she circled to Ed's other side. "This leg?"

Roy nodded, and she successfully managed to plunge the needle through to his thigh and depress the plunger this time.

A nurse was hurrying over with the kit for what looked to be an IV, and Roy shook his head.

"Start that on this arm- the other one's metal too!"

The nurse looked shocked for a moment before she was nodding,

They were hurriedly propping the boy up with pillows, and Roy was given a wet cloth to scrub away the vomit from the boy's flushed face as an oxygen mask was strapped over the boy's nose and mouth. The mask misted over slightly, assuring Roy that despite the horrible sounds Ed was making some amount of air was entering his starving lungs.

He folded the wet cloth over, wiping at the kid's sweaty forehead with one hand and reaching over to grasp the small hand in his free hand.

He noted, with some horror, that the pale white half-moons of the boy's fingernails were tinted blue.

"Come on, Ed."

"How old is he?"

"13. He's 13."

A doctor came over and appeared to be surveying the scene critically.

"I have the second dose of epinephrine you ordered…." The young nurse said hurriedly.

"Hold that. This boy has as automail, meaning the weight to dosage ratio is skewed." The nurse spoke calmly as she slid the needle into Ed's elbow, successfully starting the IV. "If we overdose him his heartrate will spike and we'll have another problem."

The doctor blinked, looking surprised, but nodded. "I agree. I was unaware of the automail…."

Roy looked down at the nurse thankfully before he was turning his attention back to Ed.

The doctor had circled the bed, pulling the glove off of Ed's hand and examining the automail.

"Does this stop just before the elbow of after it?" he asked calmly.

Roy looked up, frowning. "It goes past the shoulder, actually. His leg stops just above the knee."

"He has a leg too?"

Roy nodded.

"Make note- we'll have to half the dosages of whatever we decide to give him."

Ed made a wet choking sound, and Roy frowned, leaning forward. Still, the rise and fall of the boy's chest had become more steady, and he was rasping less.

The hives on the boy's cheeks were still prominent, but Roy was happy the kid was just _breathing…._

Glassy eyes fluttered open and roved around the room before landing on Roy, before Ed was lunching forward, automail fingers clumsily reaching out toward Roy.

"I got you, kid." He assured him.

Ed moved to grasp him with his flesh arm only to tug on the Iv, and Roy held him still. "Easy. Easy."

Ed had already buried his face in Roy's shoulder before he was going slack again- this time, not unconscious, but simply exhausted from the ordeal he'd been through.

Roy was perfectly fine with that, since he could feel every breath the kid took as he was slumped against him, and, even though it was still hoarse breathing, it was nowhere near the rasps it had been.

He could feel the kid's heart thrumming against his own- at the moment, that was all he could ask for.


	8. Allergic- 2

The world slowly fuzzed back into focus.

Over the dull, steady beeping and the hum of fluorescent lights, the sterile scent of alcohol met his nostrils.

A raspy moan escaped his lips, and a blurry shape was quickly moving to lean over him.

"...d? Ed?"

All at once, the world snapped into focus.

"Hey, Ed- can you hear me?"

There was a dull stinging in his flesh arm, and he could feel someone was hollding his hand in his own. His throat wa sore, like he's screamed himself hoarse- it felt raw and stung.

Colonel Mustang was leaning over the bed, coal eyes staring at him worriedly.

"... _Dad?"_

Mustang winced slightly at the sound of his voice. The kid sounded like he'd been gargling nails.

Even so, Mustang had yet to let go of his hand. He was wrapped in clean sheets that still left him cold, dressed in what appeared to be military blues.

Even in the halo of the fluorescent lights, he could make out the colonel's form more clearly.

Dried tan stains spattered his wrinkled uniform, and he looked as though he'd been stressed about something for a rather long time.

"Yeah, I'm here, kid." Mustang reached down as though to touch him but paused, face creasing again.

"How do you feel, Ed?"

" _Confused? I... we were at the dinner..."_

"Allergic reaction." Roy sighed, sinking down in a chair beside the bed and running a hand through his already messy hair. "Why didn't you tell me you were allergic to shellfish?"

" _I... oh. That's why I feel so bad."_

Roy jolted forwards in his chair. "Can you breathe?"

" _...yeah..."_

"They gave you epinephrine, they said it should help, but your cheeks are still red..."

Ed grimaced, as his stomach spasmed slightly and he curled up slightly, biting back a moan. He swallowed back the nausea, and Roy frowned, looking decisive as he stood.

"I'm going to get the nurse."

 _"...don't leave."_

Roy paused in the door frame. "Can you breathe?"

 _"Yeah. But I don't... feel great... so just don't leave me, okay?"_

Roy frowned, pulling the chair back up beside the boy's bed and sinking back down into it. "I won't leave, but you have to promise me you'll tell me if you start feeling any worse."

" _Alright."_ Ed shifted slightly, wiggling and trying to get comfortable amidst the sheets.

The only noise for a minute was the humming of the fluorescent lights and the dull squeaking of a nurse pushing a cart down the hall, before Ed finally spoke.

 _"I... I thought you were supposed to be at the ball kissing boots."_ now that he was slightly more awake, he nearly winced at how raspy his voice was.

Mustang gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Kind of hard to do that when you find your subordinate half-dead in the men's lavatory."

Ed paused. _"...it was that bad?"_

"You don't remember?" Roy looked slightly shocked.

 _"...not really. My mouth started going numb and I realized what was in the soup, and I went to the bathroom and got sick. I couldn't breathe. I remember being scared... and... you... you carried me?"_

Mustang sighed. "It doesn't surprise me. You were pretty out of it. We found you half-concious in the bathrooms, violently ill. You started rasping and managed to mutter something about shellfish, and I carried you to the car. You threw up in the car... you were crying... and then your eyes rolled back in your head and you went unresponsive on me..."

 _"So that's how it went, huh?"_

Ed's eyes had a far off look in them, like he was only half listening.

"You don't get to brush this off Ed! You throw your life around like small bills enough. I watched you go from fine to barely coherent. You were completely _slack_ when I ran into this hospital- _dead weight._ I watched them work on you for what felt like _hours_ before you opened your eyes again- I thought I lost you! You don't get to ignore that!"

Roy's eyes were burning like coal embers.

"And come to think of it, why didn't you tell me you were allergic to shellfish! As your father, I have a right to know! We thought they poisoned you..."

 _"I'm sorry... did you think I_ wanted _this to happen?"_ Ed croaked. He placed his hand to his forehead, swallowing as his stomach did another somersault.

Roy paused, looking down at Ed carefully. The kid looked absolutely miserable. His cheeks were still bright scarlet with hives, face pale, and just his general stillness and posture belied the fact the kid wasn't well. He softened slightly. Whatever chewing out the kid deserved, he certainly didn't need it now. Not when he was in this state.

"No. No, I don't think you wanted this to happen. I just... _god,_ Ed, I was scared I'd lose you. You've gotta take better care of yourself, kid- both here and in the field. Or i'm gonna regret ever signing you on."

 _"Right. 'M sorry."_

"Yeah, well, you can make it up to me by getting some rest. And Edward-"

 _"Yeah?"_

"If you ever scare me like that again, I'll personally fry you."

Ed's red cheeks curved up into his trademark smirk, and Roy knew the kid would live to fight another day.


End file.
